post father's day

so much dying -- i mean, seriously, what is going on? many people don't understand the fascination with the lives and deaths of celebrities, but i can't helped but be touched by these stories. we've got gary papa, ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, harry kallas, michael jackson.
and then those who are closer to us: my childhood friend's brother-in-law, who was killed in a motorcycle crash last week, leaving a widow (married two years) pregnant with their first child. how do you work your way through that?!?!? a friend at church, who has given his talents and gifts to our children's program, is diagnosed last week with stage 4 lung cancer. what the hell is that about. two weeks ago he wasn't sick! he has four children under the age of eleven. one of my best friends' father died during heart surgery last week. enough's enough. i realize death is part of life - i get that, really - but why do i feel suffocated by it right now? am i more aware, more sensitive to all these stories, or is there some message here?

let's talk about father's day. the girls didn't even realize what day it was initially. (small favor). i considered skipping church that day, knowing Father's Day would be a main topic of worship and conversation. in the end, i felt it was better to face the day than avoid the day. the girls realized on the way to church (thanks to KYW) that it was indeed father's day. their mood was light, and we talked about how we were going to mini-golf with our cousins that day. this was important b/c mini-golf was THE father's day tradition with bud. they were looking forward to it. thank God for the Heck family, who continue to partner with us through this, including the young cousins who don't even realize the healing power they gift to my children. i was sad listening to the day discussed in s'mores sunday school and watched erin carefully. i could see her react quietly and privately, but she got through it. it broke my heart though. we celebrated bud by carrying through with the tradition; i hope we do it again next year. that evening, after the girls were in bed, i mourned for my children and this day. but it is what it is.

i pray for those who have lost all these loved ones, just in the last week, and ever. I pray for my friends: mariette, hannah, and eric who face their battles with cancer with grace and humor. and i pray that death begins to take a backseat in our lives for awhile, so my daughter doesn't have to say again "it seems like everyone's dying lately"