easier with time?

well, its true, it does get worse before it gets better. i thought i was doing so well, being strong, getting things done, etc. it's been a rough last week.

firstly, i have become the most scatterbrained person i know. i've lost my keys four times in four days. i can't find papers that i KNOW i put in certain folders. i went to the beach for two days, and didn't pack any underwear. Losing my mind? possibly . .

interesting experience last week. a very good friend's father died and an open house was held at her home. i knew no-one but the immediate family, but felt the girls and i should be there to support our friends. upon my arrival, anne's mother greeted me with a hug and "I guess we have something in common now". now, isn't that interesting? this 78 yr old woman and i have practically nothing in common (accept for anne), and now we are part of the widow's club. i just can't wrap my head around that. really? you're 78, and have teenage and older grandchildren; I'm 43 (as of sat) and have pre-teens living at home. but yes, you're right, we now have this deeply important fact in common -- we have both lost our husbands. we are both widows. we are both somewhat alone, despite all the people surrounding us with love.
i pretty much hung out with the kids most of the day (i think i was avoiding having to chit-chat with strangers). later in the day (I thought i had escaped w/out any major conversing), an older woman approached me and asked "hello, are you the woman who recently lost her husband?"
ME: well, yes, that's me!
Nice older lady to husband: "joe, come here and meet sue, she's the woman who just lost her husband"
are you KIDDING me??? this fact now defines me? i'm not trying to sound offended or angry, b/c this lady really was being kind, and wanted to offer information about a grief support group where she works in an effort to be helpful. but do you really walk up to someone you've never met, bring up this subject, and offere counseling? i guess people do, and i guess i better get used to it.

and just when you think things can't get any worse .....
the dog peed on our cable box and DVD player! yes, that's what I said. he lifted his leg and let loose. no, it did not work. no, it did not dry out and work later. luckily , the cable box was replaced without charge . . the dvd player is a wash.

FLIP SIDE: let's add to the list of blessings:
-- debbie and melissa: who helped me celebrate my birthday and prayed with me for comfort
-- patty and company: who continue to support me before i can even ask for what i need
-- my girls of course, who were determined to make my birthday special: presents, breakfast in bed, and a movie (although i would have preferred a day curled in a ball in bed)